Writing Wins and Woes: Someone to Count on

Today I want to blog about someone special. My husband has a birthday tomorrow. We have been married since 1983. Anybody that has been married that long can tell you that marriage is not a bed of roses. We have had our hard times. Some of our hardest times were when our nest became empty. I realized at that point that I had depended on my kids to make me happy. Maybe it wasn’t the kids themselves but the fulfillment I had in mothering my kids. All of a sudden I wasn’t in the role of motherhood any longer. Instead I was more in the role of wife. And I wondered if I even knew the man I was married to.

I found out I did. He is complex. He is changeable. He is many faceted. He is independent. He is stubborn. He is often grumpy and angry and silly. To be honest what I knew about him I wondered if I even liked. Why didn’t he do the things I wanted him to do? Why wasn’t he more serious when I needed him to be? I really needed someone to count on and I wasn’t sure I could count on him.

But I found out I can, and here’s why. Because he is changeable, he adapts to the crazy that I am. Because he is many faceted, he continues to hold my interest. Because he is independent, he isn’t always needing me to be his support system, sapping me of all my energy. Because he is stubborn, he is fiercely loyal to me. Because he is often grumpy and angry and silly, I can empathize with him, complain with him and laugh with him. Why would I want him always to do the things I want him to do? What’s the fun in that? I have a dog for that. Why would I want him to be more serious when I am serious enough?

I can say with all my heart that I am married to a good man. He tries to follow God and he is faithful to me. Not many partners can say that in this day. He is a hard worker and a talented artist and a good friend. He is someone I can count on.  Happy birthday, Scott. I love you, not for being perfect, but for being perfectly suited to me.

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