Writing Wins and Woes:Birthday Blessings

I’ve had another birthday. At this stage of my life, I almost don’t want to have a birthday, except for the cake, ice cream and presents. I’m losing a lot by having a birthday. I’m losing another year of my life, my knees are failing, my heel hurts, I’m getting more gray hair and I put on weight for every indulgence. I’ve lost my children because they have all moved out. One of them I haven’t seen in almost two years.  I’m a lot more tired, but I don’t sleep well. I’ve never worn make up so I can’t cover up my aging. I think me and my house are deteriorating at about the same rate. I wonder which will last longer. I look at my husband and he is no longer a young man while I think I’m still a young woman. Until I look in the mirror and say to myself, who is that older woman? I look at all my friends and see that they are getting older and wonder why am I hanging out with all these old people?

This is all meant to be facetious. Actually, age has many benefits. You gain experience. Some of that experience comes through hard times but hopefully, you learn something. If you’re smart, you don’t make the same mistakes you made before in life. You grow more loving and less abrasive. In other words, you mellow out. I’m not as rigid. I once wrote a poem about how I used to be very black and white, and straight and narrow but now I bend. I do bend more now, and it’s actually a good thing. I have more compassion for people. I don’t judge as much as I used to. I have a grandchild. You can’t really have a grandchild without growing older. Having a grandchild is one of the best experiences of my life. I like the saying that says if I knew how much fun grandchildren were going to be, I would have had them first. But also, I get along much better with my children now. I stopped bossing them around. I have no control over them anymore and they know it. Now, I just give a few bits of wise advice and watch them not take it. I don’t really suffer the repercussions because it’s their life now and they need to make mistakes to learn just like I did.

I’m growing closer to God. How can I not? Each year brings me a year closer to meeting Him. Sometimes, I even think I may look forward to it when I’m a little older. So happy birthday to me. We never really grow old in heart, just in body. My body is not who I am. Someday I will shed this encumbrance and fly away. For now, I’m thankful for everything God has given me, and for what He’s allowed me to accomplish. I’m looking forward to what this year will bring. The success story is up to me.

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